tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61766374291506036272024-02-19T12:40:52.129+00:00The Wannabe ScribeMutterings and Musings on Writing and PublishingThe Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.comBlogger139125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-76910636427453684942009-03-17T07:55:00.001+00:002009-03-17T09:27:11.392+00:00How to...<a href="http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/2009/03/third-dimension-of-query-letters.html">write a query</a>.<br /><br />A useful nugget:<br /><blockquote>Describe the book you've written as though you're telling a friend about a great book they'll want to read right now.<br /><br /><br /></blockquote>The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-4389309649706491902009-03-12T19:56:00.003+00:002009-03-17T09:27:01.881+00:00How Not to...<a href="http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/2009/03/selling-yourself.html">write a query</a>.<br /><br />'Nuff said.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-66208454725264006532009-02-25T23:00:00.002+00:002009-02-27T19:05:01.727+00:00More Comma HuntingThis time of a different sort...<br /><br />Coordinate adjectives.<br /><br />I've used these perhaps a little too much, maybe as much as one or two per chapter and I didn’t even know it was a style crime.<br /><br />We all know that in some circumstances we should use a comma to separate a pair of adjectives that describe the same noun.<br /><br /><a href="http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/">The Owl</a> defines the <a href="http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/01/">rule</a> quite clearly and there is even a <a href="http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000072.htm">test</a> to make sure they are coordinate and not cumulative adjectives:<br /><br /><blockquote>6. Use commas to separate two or more coordinate adjectives that describe the same noun. Be sure never to add an extra comma between the final adjective and the noun itself or to use commas with non-coordinate adjectives.</blockquote><br />They’ve been bothering me since I read <a href="http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=102594">Allen Guthrie's Infamous Writing Tips</a> on the <a href="http://www.blogger.com/Write%20Water%20Cooler%20Forums%20http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/">Absolute Write Water Cooler Forums</a>.<br /><br />Here’s a snippet:<br /><br /><blockquote>5: Pairs of adjectives are exponentially worse than single adjectives. The ‘big, old’ man walked slowly towards the ‘tall, beautiful’ girl. When I read a sentence like that, I’m hoping he dies before he arrives at his destination. Mind you, that’s probably a cue for a ‘noisy, white’ ambulance to arrive. Wailingly, perhaps!</blockquote><br />Here's Allen Guthrie's <a href="http://www.hi-arts.co.uk/Tip%20sheet%202%20-%20Hunting%20Down%20The%20Pleonasm%20by%20Allan%20Guthrie.pdf">tip sheet</a>.<br /><br />How do you feel about them? Is it OK to use them sparingly or should coordinate adjectives be banned?The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-77445259892825377472009-02-10T14:16:00.003+00:002009-02-10T14:29:26.116+00:00Honest EditingI've been working on my first chapter (again). I know I shouldn't but I couldn't help it.<br /><br />I must admit I was proud of the opening hook after the last rewrite, but on reflection it’s -well -er -um crap.<br /><br />I still want the same hook but damn I need to write it better.<br /><br />I've been working on the rest of the chapter the last few days and today I realised what was wrong with it. It is <span style="font-style: italic;">boring - really boring</span>.<br /><br />I need to get rid of the rubbish. I can fix the pacing problems of this chapter by keeping the last part of the chapter as that's quite strong. There is some essential information that needs to go in somewhere, but I can work that into any of the first half a dozen or so chapters and there is one plot-device that needs to be retained. That I've decided can be moved into the next scene.<br /><br />Problem solved.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-63629463345812204172009-02-03T22:44:00.009+00:002009-02-10T14:30:30.054+00:00Reading to be a Better Writer<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio5DxuYEGtlPCIqQ2Xcr_oBMIQZ3fMI-gPZJeR_o90ITB5IW4sI2QP29208zqWpO7m1GwDnyVIaQC4BOtuUoC4Ma8Ls4vqdJotTjIJUntw2qtDC69cSCGgOqhonte1A3W6Y_5VJfL2YIk/s1600-h/sfhb.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 106px; height: 129px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio5DxuYEGtlPCIqQ2Xcr_oBMIQZ3fMI-gPZJeR_o90ITB5IW4sI2QP29208zqWpO7m1GwDnyVIaQC4BOtuUoC4Ma8Ls4vqdJotTjIJUntw2qtDC69cSCGgOqhonte1A3W6Y_5VJfL2YIk/s320/sfhb.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298712801609500594" border="0" /></a>I've just picked up a copy of <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Starflight-Handbook-Pioneers-Interstellar-Editions/dp/0471619124/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I10RK6FJIX3I5S&colid=XO2P2GVVCYOT">The Starflight Handbook - A Pioneer′s Guide to Interstellar Travel</a>. It's been on my wish list for a while so I was rather surprised when it plopped onto the doormat courtesy of my girlfriend (an early Valentines gift).<br /><br />I don't know whether it will help with WIP but it'll certainly add an element of realism when I come to revise.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOY32wACRjrzmlgO70Il05XXdNZwEH9_z05PpmhG6gNOU_ks57GYJg7ogKTLTwkHBZFGr0qFMJwNFL01vI6Ik8ipua71vwyGSwxMQkwRu081Qc4q1SyiounULssm8EzjyfSH4qKXzVSaA/s1600-h/160618_140.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 204px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOY32wACRjrzmlgO70Il05XXdNZwEH9_z05PpmhG6gNOU_ks57GYJg7ogKTLTwkHBZFGr0qFMJwNFL01vI6Ik8ipua71vwyGSwxMQkwRu081Qc4q1SyiounULssm8EzjyfSH4qKXzVSaA/s320/160618_140.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298713136172859986" border="0" /></a><br />On the horizon is <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Seeds-Earth-Humanitys-Michael-Cobley/dp/1841496324/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=IEOTAZQN5XUJP&colid=XO2P2GVVCYOT">Seeds of Earth (Humanity's Fire)</a> by <a href="http://rockitboy.wordpress.com/">Michael Cobley</a>.<br /><br />I've been looking forward to it since I heard about it a couple of months ago. The back cover sold me I can't wait to read this:<br /><br /><blockquote>First contact was not supposed to be like this. The first intelligent species to encounter Mankind attacked without warning and swarmed locust-like through the solar system. Merciless. Relentless. Unstoppable. With little hope of halting the savage invasion, Earth's last, desperate roll of the dice was to send out three colony ships, seeds of Earth, to different parts of the galaxy. Earth may perish but the human race would live on ...somewhere. 150 years later, the human colony on the planet Darien has established a new world for Humanity and forged a peaceful relationship with the planet's indigenous race, the scholarly, enigmatic Uvovo. But there are secrets buried beneath the surface of Darien's forest moon. Secrets that go back to an apocalyptic battle fought between ancient forerunner races at the dawn of galactic civilisation...</blockquote><br /><span id="btAsinTitle">Seeds of Earth</span> is published by Orbit in the UK on the 5 March 2009.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-12902384704351967732009-01-29T09:00:00.004+00:002009-03-18T19:51:31.951+00:00The Elevator Pitch Part IV addendumI couldn't leave <a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-part-iv.html">it</a> alone...<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">A wanted man suffering from amnesia searches for clues to his past and a way to destroy a prototype weapon, which has the power to enslave billions, before it falls into the hands of a powerful religious cult.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Update:</span> I read it and I just wanna change it all the time...<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">A wanted man suffering from amnesia searches for clues to his past and a way to destroy a prototype weapon <span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">that </span>has the power to enslave billions, before it <span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">can fall</span> into the hands of a powerful religious cult.</span>The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-18182836127455216802009-01-28T19:15:00.001+00:002009-01-28T19:53:41.966+00:00The Elevator Pitch Part IVOK, a couple of points need improving to move <a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-part-iii-b.html">this pitch</a> to the next level.<br /><br />As a one-sentence summary, what I've written works reasonably well. There needs to be a little more to it though and I've identified the issues with it in a <a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-part-iii.html">previous post</a>.<br /><br />A one-sentence summary can be quite useful. Imagine being in that elevator and the Agent/Editor's floor is next. The doors slide open and just before they exit the elevator, they ask you what you are writing.<br /><br />A short tag line or one sentence summary can also help maintain focus on the overall big picture. This is something that's helped me <a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-part-iii-c.html">very recently</a>.<br /><br /><a href="http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/">Rachelle</a> advocates having <a href="http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-third-floor.html">several different pitches for different situations</a>.<br /><br />So, I'll keep the tagline format for now and then I'll move onto a conversational format.<br /><br /><i>Hunted across the galaxy by a powerful religious cult, an amnesiac searches for clues to his past and the forgotten knowledge of a prototype weapon that has the power to enslave billions.</i><br /><br />I'll drop <i>forgotten knowledge </i>it still sounds pants. The hero needs to destroy this weapon to prevent a terrible fate befalling billions of innocent people, so that needs to go in too.<br /><br /><i>An amnesiac is hunted across the galaxy whilst he searches for clues to his past and must destroy a prototype weapon, which has the power to enslave billions, before it falls into the hands of a powerful religious cult.</i><br /><br />Hmmm.<br /><br />Has this improved the pitch? I'll give a reserved yes to that question. It now has the hero's aims in it so in that respect it is slightly better.<br /><br /><i>An amnesiac, wanted throughout the galaxy, searches for clues to his past and must destroy a prototype weapon, which has the power to enslave billions, before it falls into the hands of a powerful religious cult.</i><br /><br />This sounds much better. The religious cult isn’t the only group searching for the protagonist so it still fulfils the requirement of a one-sentence summary.<br /><br />In Part V I'll look at making this pitch more conversational. In the meantime check out Rachelle's critiques on <a href="http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/2009/01/q4u-whats-your-book-about.html">elevator pitches</a> in <a href="http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-part-1.html">The Elevator Pitch, Part 1</a> and <a href="http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-second-floor.html">The Elevator Pitch, Second Floor</a><p></p>The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-69953042895834592652009-01-26T12:23:00.005+00:002009-01-26T12:59:22.038+00:00The Elevator Pitch Part III cSome of the results are in.<br /><br /><span class="caption"><a href="http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/">Rachelle</a> has critiqued my <a href="http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-part-1.html">Elevator pitch</a>.<br /><br />If you remember, for the purposes of the critique I settled on this:<br /></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Hunted across the galaxy by a powerful religious cult, an amnesiac searches for clues to his past and the forgotten knowledge of a prototype weapon that has the power to enslave billions.</span><br /><br />This is despite knowing there were a few problems with the pitch as it stands.<br /><br /><span class="caption">Rachelle thoughts:<br /><br /></span><blockquote>Try as I might, I can't imagine you letting loose with this in response to the question, "So what are you writing?" Why not start with something more conversational like, "I'm writing a sci-fi about an amnesiac who is being hunted across the galaxy by a powerful religious cult, because he..." Make this into a verbal pitch, a dialogue. First, put it in context by saying what it is. (A sci-fi or whatever.) Then fill it in with some of the story. Why do we care about this amnesiac? What will he do with the weapon? And why does the cult want him? Then put a finish on it. You could have a concluding statement like, "The novel is finished and I have sample chapters available" or you could ask a question such as, "Are you interested in sci-fi?"</blockquote><br /><br />Can you see a trend here? <a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-part-iii.html">Boris</a> thought along similar lines and he too wanted to know about the weapon.<br /><br />So what will my hero do with this weapon?<br /><br />Well, as I've mentioned previously, he will need to destroy it, although this wasn't part of the original outline, in fact it wasn't much of a weapon at all. What has become apparent is that this weapon needs to take a bigger role in the story.<br /><br />Previously, the story was more of a personal struggle for the protagonist, but I've become aware even before writing the pitch that I needed to up the stakes a lot more.<br /><br />The pitch has guided my focus to such an extent that I now have a much better idea of the bigger issues that my hero will face. What I had originally envisioned as the main story arc has now become rather minor, but nonetheless driving aspect of the story against a much bigger backdrop.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-78070657952526422009-01-23T09:00:00.005+00:002009-01-26T08:59:38.385+00:00Just Added. . .<a href="http://jakonrath.blogspot.com/">A Newbie's Guide to Publishing</a> by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JA_Konrath">JA Konrath</a>.<br /><br />I've added it to the Publishing Section rather than Author Blogs. The reason will be immediately obvious when you take a peek at the site.<br /><br />It is packed to the gills with good advice.<br /><br />Enjoy!The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-7293813454201455672009-01-23T08:52:00.007+00:002009-01-28T19:54:03.230+00:00The Elevator Pitch Part III bIn the latest post on <a href="http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/">Rants and Ramblings</a> Rachelle is asking <a href="http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/2009/01/q4u-whats-your-book-about.html">Q4U: What's Your Book About?</a> She is very kindly offering critiques on any pitches that are posted.<br /><br />Elevator pitches at the ready!<br /><br />I've taken the plunge (I was feeling brave) and went with the latest version of my hook.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Hunted across the galaxy by a powerful religious cult, an amnesiac searches for clues to his past and the forgotten knowledge of a prototype weapon that has the power to enslave billions.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Update:</span> I should point out that Rachelle <span style="font-style: italic;">does not</span> represent Sci-Fi or Fantasy but she's a good sport and she may well critique it anyway.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-82317911764448008452009-01-22T09:50:00.013+00:002009-01-28T19:54:32.322+00:00The Elevator Pitch Part III aIn <a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-part-i.html">The Elevator Pitch Part I</a> I had a stab at writing an elevator pitch.<br /><br />In that post I wound up with this:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">An amnesiac, on the run from the Police, searches for clues to his past whilst hunted by a powerful religious cult.</span><br /><br />It was missing some <a href="http://adamheine.blogspot.com/2008/10/hook-crook-or-aduncity.html">key elements</a> so in <a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-part-ii.html">The Elevator Pitch Part II</a> I added those key elements and revised it a little.<br /><br />Eventually I settled on this:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Hunted across the galaxy, by a powerful religious cult, an amnesiac searches for clues to his past and tries to remember the knowledge of a prototype weapon that has the power to enslave billions.</span><br /><br />I resisted the urge to tinker with it and just left it as it was so that, when the time comes for the final version, I will hopefully have a fresh perspective on it.<br /><br />Then Boris came up with some great suggestions for the pitch in the comments section.<br /><br /><blockquote>Minor niggle: I think the first comma is superfluous.<br /><br /></blockquote>Yes. It reads so much better without it.<br /><br /><i></i><blockquote><i>Tries to remember knowledge... </i> sounds klunky, at least to me. Can you even remember knowledge? And since he is trying to remember it, he already has knowledge <i> of </i> it, doesn't he?<br /><br /></blockquote>Yes, the protagonist has some knowledge in that he knows something about it, but he doesn't have any useful knowledge other than this prototype exists, but <i>remember knowledge </i>sounds very clunky.<i><br /><br /></i>Boris suggests the following:<br /><br /><i></i><blockquote><i>Hunted across the galaxy by a powerful religious cult, an amnesiac searches for clues to his past and tries to remember how to build a prototype weapon that has the power to enslave billions.<br /><br /></i></blockquote>This excellent, but (ah there's always a but) the protagonist is not going to build this weapon he must destroy it. So why isn't that in there?<br /><br />Boris then asks several questions about what will happen which, as he pointed out meant it worked! Yay!<br /><br /><blockquote>Although... will he enslave billions with it to save himself from the cult? If not, how will it help him then?<br /><br /></blockquote>Always leave 'em wanted more - part IV coming soon.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-3690478144144239302009-01-18T08:55:00.010+00:002009-01-22T09:19:12.369+00:00More on Motivation Reaction UnitsIt's been a while since I last posted on MRUs so I thought now would be a good time to gather my thoughts on the subject.<br /><br />Regular readers may remember that I have been rewriting my earlier chapters using MRU's in between writing the new chapters. This has been quite refreshing and allows me to get into different parts of my protagonist’s head (parts that have become dull with time and almost forgotten about). It has also allowed me to see how much my writing has improved over the course of the novel.<br /><br />When I first started writing using the MRU technique, I found that I produced short choppy paragraphs. To some degree, I still do that now, but when I feel there is too much white space I look over some of the preceding paragraphs to see where they can be embellished.<br /><br />Often this is a simple fix. Sometimes all that is needed is to clump several motivations together and have your character react to the most important one. Other times a little interspersed description will do the trick.<br /><br />If your writing tends to be very tight and to the point, you'll find this is a great way to increase your word count without bloating your story.<br /><br />You can find a whole lot more on MRUs in <span id="btAsinTitle"><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0806111917">Techniques of the Selling Writer</a> by </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwight_V._Swain">Dwight V. Swain</a> and here on Randy Ingermanson's <span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><a href="http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/art/scene.php">Advanced Fiction Writing</a> and in some of my previous posts below:<br /><br /><a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2008/07/motivation-reaction-units.html">Motivation-Reaction Units</a><br /><a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2008/07/thou-shalt-not-have-thy-protagonist-in.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>Thou Shalt Not Have Thy Protagonist in Thy Motivation Unit</a><br /><a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2008/07/thou-can-have-thy-protagonist-in-thy.html">Thou Can Have Thy Protagonist in Thy Motivation Unit</a><br /><a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2008/10/mini-post.html">Mini Post</a><br /><a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2008/10/fridayitis-is-back.html">Fridayitis is Back</a> (er except it's not. It was then but it's not now, but it might come back this week - who knows!)The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-31422216476764874702009-01-16T11:31:00.003+00:002009-01-16T11:41:39.144+00:0015 Word CompetitionFor those of you who are into Flash Fiction <a href="http://www.writersreliefblog.com/">Writer's Relief Blog</a> has a fifteen-word contest for their 15th anniversary. Yay!<br /><br />Write a poem, short story or a short essay of exactly 15 words.<br /><br />More details <a class="postheader taggedlink" href="http://www.writersreliefblog.com/post/Were-15%21-Enter-Our-Contest-To-Win-Free-Submissions%21.aspx">here</a>.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-37770252435138014882009-01-13T11:05:00.003+00:002009-01-13T11:19:40.470+00:00Dialogue Link FestI've been catching up on some of the blogs I've missed over the holidays and I had to provide link a link to <a href="http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com/2008/12/let-me-tell-you-something-dialogue-part.html">Let Me Tell You Something – Dialogue, Part Un</a>.<br /><br />As usual <a href="http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com/">The Blood-Red Pencil</a> provides some great advice. Make sure you check out <a href="http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com/2008/12/let-me-tell-you-something-dialogue-part_22.html">Part Deux</a> and <a href="http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com/2008/12/let-me-tell-you-something-dialogue-part_23.html">Part Trois</a>. The final part has some great links to dialogue resources.<br /><br />Check it out.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-51598884117018096922009-01-05T16:00:00.006+00:002009-01-28T19:54:49.076+00:00The Elevator Pitch Part IIOK so <a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2009/01/elevator-pitch-part-i.html">yesterday</a> I was in the middle of writing my Elevator pitch and I had two ballpark lines:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">An amnesiac, on the run from the Police, searches for clues to his past whilst hunted by a powerful religious cult.</span><br /><br />And<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">An amnesiac, chased across the galaxy by the Police, searches for clues to his past whilst hunted by a powerful religious cult.</span><br /><br />They're both pretty much same ol, same ol, but the second one provides a vital clue about the genre I am writing in. Without 'chased across the galaxy' I could be writing a thriller, which I am not so that stays.<br /><br />Adam over on <a href="http://adamheine.blogspot.com/">Author's Echo</a> has produced a <a href="http://adamheine.blogspot.com/2008/10/hook-crook-or-aduncity.html">nice list</a>, about what should be in a typical hook, and I am going to use it here to break down my elevator pitch.<br /><ul><li> Protagonist. Who is the story about? Check: <span style="font-style: italic;">an amnesiac</span>.</li><li> Antagonist. Who or what is against the protagonist? Check: <span style="font-style: italic;">Police. </span>Check: <span style="font-style: italic;"> powerful religious cult.</span></li><li> Goal. What does the protagonist want to accomplish? Check: <span style="font-style: italic;">searches for clues to his past</span></li><li> Stakes. What will happen if the protagonist does not accomplish their goal? Ooops: nothing for this so far.</li><li> Conflict. What is keeping the protagonist from accomplish their goal? Check: <span style="font-style: italic;">Police. </span>Check: <span style="font-style: italic;"> powerful religious cult.</span> </li><li> Setting. Where/when does the story take place? Check: <span style="font-style: italic;">the galaxy.</span></li><li> Theme. What is the story's main subject or idea? Ooops: nothing for this one either.</li></ul>OK I am missing a few things namely stakes and theme. Can I put these things in? Sure! But first, let's drop the police bit as it is likely to get too long.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Hunted across the galaxy, by a powerful religious cult, an amnesiac searches for clues to his past and tries to remember the knowledge of a prototype device that has the power to enslave trillions of people.</span><br /><br />Getting warmer?<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Trillions</span> is a bit over dramatic and there's bound to have been several wars to wipe out a few billion people here and there. Then there's <span style="font-style: italic;">device </span>which is a bit non descript. Perhaps weapon would be better, although the device in question isn't as such but it does have the power to be a weapon, so weapon it is. Also, people is a bit superfluous although the idea is to be specific.<br /><br />I'll try it as:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Hunted across the galaxy, by a powerful religious cult, an amnesiac searches for clues to his past and tries to remember the knowledge of a prototype weapon that has the power to enslave billions.<br /></span><br />Now we have the stakes <span style="font-style: italic;">power to enslave billions</span> and the idea in the subtext is simply good vs. evil or as I like to say <span style="font-style: italic;">baddies doing bad things and goodies doing good things</span>. yay!<br /><br />So it's all done, for now anyway. . .The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-7600598151285817102009-01-04T10:37:00.006+00:002009-01-04T17:33:47.855+00:00The Elevator Pitch Part IOr as I might call it <span style="font-style: italic;">The Lift Pitch</span> but as that doesn't quite have the same ring to it so I think I'll stick with elevator.<br /><br />What's all the fuss? Well, you're at a writing conference and it just so happens that you're sharing an elevator with your dream agent/editor. You have one floor before they depart and they casually ask (as their wont to do) 'so, what's your book about?'<br /><br />What is it about? How can you possibly condense your novel into a sentence? I mean, query letters are hard enough right? Oh, wait I haven't done one of those yet but I hear they're really, really hard OK?<br /><br />Some writers like to do this sort of thing near the end of the writing process and other like to use it as a focal point and do it right at the very start. Me, I'm a bit dumb about things like this - I've just done mine now and I'm in the middle of the writing process (not quite half way through yet).<br /><br />Why now? Well, I've now got a very good idea about where my book is going (finally) and some of the smaller elements of my book are going to be quite a bit bigger than I had originally envisaged. Aaaand, <a href="http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/">Randy Ingermanson</a> has just run a competition for his readers to do a <a href="http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2009/01/01/star-wars-one-sentence-summary/" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link: Star Wars–One Sentence Summary">Star Wars–One Sentence Summary</a>. The results are <a href="http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2009/01/02/star-wars-one-sentence-summary-winner/">here</a>.<br /><br />So what is my story about?<br /><br />Well, here's one I did earlier (it's a bit rubbish but I'm feeling brave today). Written quite some time ago (nearly 8 months ago in fact - wow I need to finish this book) under the title of One Sentence Story Arc.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Aydan searches for his identity and clues to who he is, but has a second chance to shape his future.</span><br /><br />Yeah I know it really is pants so after reading Randy's recent posts I decided to rewrite it.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">An amnesiac, on the run from the Police, searches for clues to his past whilst hunted by a powerful religious cult.</span><br /><br />Hmmm.<br /><br />It's not ready yet and as you can see there's no hint of any Sci Fi elements at all but that's easily remidied by something like:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">An amnesiac, chased across the galaxy by the Police, searches for clues to his past whilst hunted by a powerful religious cult.</span><br /><br />This is probably something that I could tweak forever and a day but it's time to set myself a deadline so I will finish it tonight and I will post the final sentence here tomorrow.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-13381368944236148682008-12-24T14:09:00.001+00:002008-12-24T14:11:16.484+00:00Season's GreetingsTo one and all.<br /><br />I hope everyone has a happy time and remains fit and well.<br /><br />If you are celebrating then have fun!<p></p>The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-31328241615325462442008-12-09T09:11:00.002+00:002008-12-09T09:15:21.446+00:00Wrapping the Candy BarDid I say I could wrap up this scene in another <a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2008/12/first-kill.html">thousand words</a>?<br /><br />Why did I have to bring another four baddies into the fray?<br /><br />I am being particularly evil to my hero at the moment. :-)The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-3325069462109471652008-12-08T20:43:00.003+00:002008-12-08T20:52:18.581+00:00The First KillYay! My protagonist got his first kill in the <a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2008/09/candy-bar-scenes.html">candy bar scene</a>. In fact, he's now had two kills (about bloody time too) and that really cool idea I had last night is about to enter stage left.<br /><br />I can see this mammoth (at least for me) scene wrapping up in about a thousand words or so.<br /><br />By and large it is the longest scene in the book, but I need to resist the urge (as ever) to go back and look at this part of the novel's structure.<br /><br />It's quite possible this scene can be condensed and the chapter breaks juggled around a bit so it isn't spread over the current 3 chapters but I really need to look at things like that at the end during revision time.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-42910012354687732762008-12-07T19:47:00.003+00:002008-12-07T20:12:37.559+00:00Still at it!I'm still writing that <a href="http://wannabescribe.blogspot.com/2008/09/candy-bar-scenes.html">Candy Bar Scene</a>. Although I haven't spent nearly as much time as I would have liked on it, it is starting to come together. The scene has now managed to span 3 chapters and I think I can feel a fourth coming on.<br /><br />One thing is for certain, the way my story is going it is not going to survive in its current format. This scene is way to big and there is nothing else that comes close. So, I either beef up my ending a bit or I'll have to take the ideas I have for the two sequels and sling them in here and then lop off the first third of the book.<br /><br />There's going to be some serious juggling going on but for now I will continue to write it as it is. Who knows, something beefy may come up. This scene has already taken on a life of its own and there are other dogfights to come - just none at the end where they may be needed.<br /><br />My original intention was for the dogfight to take place in space, which it did, but my protagonist had this crazy idea that his ship would fare better against, the dozen or so ships, in the atmosphere of planet.<br /><br />Did it fare better? Hell no! When things are really bad they just gotta get worse.<br /><br />Then again, maybe this scene will be heavily pared down once the novel is finished and it is edited for large-scale structure.<br /><br />Well, I'm hoping tonight that my protagonist will at least get his first kill...<br /><br />You're probably thinking it is crazy to have this scene sprawling 3 chapters and the hero still hasn't shot another ship down. In his defense, he did have to contend (unarmed) with a very nasty autonomous killing machine, which managed to get aboard undetected in the previous scene (yes, there was one but it was so long ago I forget) and all the while the ship was plunging into the planet's atmosphere and four enemy ships are...<br /><br />I'll leave it there I've just had an amazing idea.<br /><br />Gotta go!The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-85289697371013735232008-12-03T09:00:00.001+00:002008-12-03T09:00:01.498+00:00Revision Revision Revision. . .Some pearls of wisdom from Holly Lisle:<br /><br /><a style="left: 0px ! important; top: 15px ! important;" title="Block this object with Adblock Plus" class="abp-objtab-00017996225718465153 visible ontop" href="http://blip.tv/play/AwGMtUE"></a><embed src="http://blip.tv/play/AwGMtUE" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="412" height="340"></embed><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">If you</span><span style="font-size:100%;">'re interested in</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> reading more advice on revision from Holly then check out:</span><br /><br /><ul><li><a href="http://www.hollylisle.com/fm/Articles/wc2-4.html">How to Revise A Novel</a></li><li><a href="http://www.hollylisle.com/fm/Workshops/one-pass-revision.html">One-Pass Manuscript Revision: From First Draft to Last in One Cycle</a></li><li><a href="http://www.hollylisle.com/fm/Workshops/Revising-Vincalis.html">Revising Vincalis</a></li></ul>The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-56313413300087621512008-12-02T21:07:00.004+00:002008-12-02T21:22:37.669+00:00QueriesOver on <a href="http://adamheine.blogspot.com/">Author's Echo</a> Adam asks <a href="http://adamheine.blogspot.com/2008/12/by-and-large-authors-hate-query-process.html">what's the Point of Writing Queries?</a> Time and time again this crop's up on agent blogs and as Adam points out it's part of the job.<br /><br />Lucky, for me, I'm nowhere near ready to start the query process, but for those of you who are but are finding it difficult check out <a href="http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/">Janet Reid's</a> <a href="http://queryshark.blogspot.com/">query shark</a>.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-65898806343795683912008-11-27T16:04:00.002+00:002008-11-27T16:12:47.717+00:00Just Added. . .I've been catching up on all the blogs I've missed lately and I stumbled upon a link to <a href="http://www.urbanmusewriter.com/2008/09/why-should-writers-blog.html">Why Should Writers Blog?</a><br /><br />It's well worth reading as is the rest of the <a href="http://www.urbanmusewriter.com/">blog</a> so I've added it to my side bar too.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-30097697422467585642008-11-26T12:04:00.003+00:002008-11-26T12:09:36.542+00:00AWOLNot been around much lately and I'd like to say I've been busy writing. Alas, I haven't, but I am starting to get back into it. In fact, last night I finished off Chapter 17. <br /><br />Woo Hoo!<br /><br />Anyway hope everyone is keeping well.<br /><br />Time now to catch up on all the blogging I've missed.The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6176637429150603627.post-10353539013494056152008-11-07T20:36:00.003+00:002008-11-08T19:47:48.700+00:00FridayitisIn <a href="http://editorialass.blogspot.com/2008/11/crash-flow-or-what-went-wrong-in.html">C[r]ash Flow (Or What Went Wrong in October in Book Publishing)</a> Moonrat starts the buy a book campaign.<br /><br />An encoraging post from Jenny over on LIt Soup on <a href="http://litsoup.blogspot.com/2008/11/why-recessions-are-good-for-aspiring.html">Why Recessions Are Good For Aspiring Writers</a>.<br /><br />Onyxhawke wants us to kill our darlings in <a href="http://onyxhawke.livejournal.com/75318.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>Bittercon! SF/F Has Much to Atone for</a>.<br /><br />More on commas from The Blood-Red Pencil in <a href="http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com/2008/11/comma-according-to-trask.html">The Comma According to Trask</a> and <a href="http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com/2008/11/editors-edit-commasand-more.html">Editors edit commas...and more</a>.<br /><br />And finally, in <a href="http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/11/when-should-i-tell-agent-x.html">When Should I Tell an Agent X?</a> Nathan tells when and what we should tell our agents - when we get one that is!The Wannabe Scribehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12119765280927528708noreply@blogger.com1